We have stayed in a variety of B&B's. We've stayed in cozy homes with a fire in the fireplace and chocolate chip cookies sitting on a plate just begging to be eaten. We've stayed in palatial type mansions with a bathroom as big as our living room sitting next to another area the size of our living room that contains only a jacuzzi. We've stayed in a simple raised ranch where we sat in the kitchen and chatted with the owner as she made our breakfast. But the B&B where we stayed this week was, by far, the most unique....and bizarre.
My fault....I chose it because it was the cheapest. That does not always equal better. I should know that. I always say "you get what you pay for". But, heck, it was only for one night. My first clue should have been the fact that there weren't any pictures on their web site. Just a little drawing of a "quaint 19th century farmhouse".
That's the first time I have ever gone into a B&B through the back door. We made our way up the steps. No door-bell so we knock-knock-knocked on the door. We were let into the laundry room and signed in on the guest book that was lying across the washing machine. Before we went to our room we chatted with the owners a bit. We saw wood piled up against the wall in the laundry room. Asking if they heated with wood they said, "Yes, we do. And with oil and gas. All except for the upstairs. There's no heat upstairs". Holy hiney-ho...this is looking more and more unique.
I'm really trying to keep a straight face and avoid looking at Paul. I know he's thinking what I'm thinking........"this looks like grandma's house".
A look in the en-suite private bath told me that it was a VERY good thing that we are small people.
But the sign in the bathroom is what put my body into convulsive laughter. "Oh no, Paul. We are really in trouble. Listen to this". "You may have difficulty with solid waste in the hopper due to small amount of water used. Hold handle down when flushing after allowing toilet paper to get wet. Flush a second time if necessary. Let Jack know if there are problems". Are you kidding me? Oh dear oh dear. Are we supposed to call Jack at 3am to inform him that we have a "solid waste problem"? This is not looking good at all.
On top of this the room was freeeeeezing cold. But Jack solved our lack of heat issue by plugging in a little portable electric heater. Wellllllll.....it was solved for about 2 minutes because shortly after he plugged it in it blew a fuse. Half the lights in the room went out and the lights in the hall went out also. He re-set the fuse and things seemed to hold. It was cool, but not freezing. With an extra blanket added to the 3 already on the bed, we seemed to be warm and comfy when we settled in for the night. Until 2am when the fuse blew again. Not wanting to wake Jack to re-set the fuse Paul wheeled the heater (squeak-a-sqeak-a-sqeak-a...our room was right over theirs) across the room and plugged it into another outlet, which promptly blew ANOTHER fuse. We grabbed another blanket from the closet and climbed back into bed. Even with five blankets we were less than warm. We always like a good excuse to snuggle.
Despite all this I do have to say that the owners were THE nicest couple. They looked to be in their late 70's or early 80's. They had lived in this house for 40 years, raised 8 children and 12 foster children here. (I guess with all that body heat you didn't need any heat upstairs). I'm sure they opened this B&B to supplement their meager social security. Even though it was furnished with Good-Will taste, it was immaculate. Even her windows were sparkling clean. Her breakfast, which she was deservidly proud of, was fantastic and she was so attentive to our needs. We were having such a good time talking with them over breakfast that I really was sorry to have to leave. Although I am glad it was just a one-nighter. It felt really really good to get home and be able to turn around in my shower without banging my elbows..........and to not have to worry about "solid waste issues".
