Lately I've been having a round of "Sleep Study" events. You know, those experiences where they wire you up so you look like a walking time bomb and then expect you to sleep all night while they take measurements of every part of your body that moves. It started because Paul said my normal snoring would morph into something that sounded like a cat choking on a bone. In other words,he didn't think I would be able to take a breath unless he poked/punched me to a state of semi-arousal.
I've had 3 rounds of tests in the sleep lab......or torture chamber. I CANNOT sleep in a strange environment so it was a miserable failure. They agreed to let me do an in-home sleep study where you bring home a little suitcase filled with the torture devises so you can have the test done in familiar surroundings which should enable one to sleep more easily. HA! HA! HA!
As I packed up the little bag this morning to deliver back to sleep lab I wrote them a note and packed it in the bag along with the wires and canulas and sending unit and forms to fill out asking how many times a day you conked off. I just really needed to vent. Keep this in mind if anyone suggests you do a "home sleep study".
FRUSTRATION
Oh man..oh
brother.......oh bother........oh NOOOO. Not again. If doing a sleep study were a college course I
would be in major trouble. I would be
heading for an F....again. Another
sleepless night in Torrington. I was sure I would be getting an A this time.
I should have started earlier. I underestimated the time it would take me to watch the instructional CD and then
wire myself up and shove 2 nasal canulas up my nose and around my ears comfortably. After half an hour of reading the instructions in the dull glow
of the night light so I wouldn't wake my husband I successfully, so I thought,
had everything plugged in and ready to go. BUT I read the last line of
instructions a bit too late. Uh oh. "A green light should appear".
Well, heck...I didn't see any green light. Probably because I was too busy
reading the instructions that said a green light should appear that I missed
it. Wondered if it came on only momentarily. Read instructions over and over. No mention of
how long it stays on.
Okay. Trek
back to the basement being careful not to catch my wired body on furniture or
the cat. Reboot my computer. Wait..wait..wait. Put the instructional CD back
in. Watch it all to see if it mentions a green light. Not really. Turn computer
off. Debate whether or not to call the
sleep lab and ask. "Mark" said to call if I had any questions. He said one woman called at 3 in the morning and said "I can't take it anymore". I feel her pain. Call sleep lab twice
but no answer. Leave message regarding
my inane question.
Back to
bed. By this time it is 1:15. Waaaaaaay
past my bedtime. When this happens my biorhythms get way out of kilter and no
matter HOW tired I am I enter the land of insomnia. Just as I'm climbing into bed my husband
wakes up, takes one look at my wire-tangled robotic body and says "Do you
really think you're going to be able to sleep with THAT on?" Thank you, sweetheart.
You just punched my ticket for the train to Insomnia.
Phone rings
at 1:36. Sleep lab saying not to worry about green light. I should be good to
go. Good to go and toss and turn. Now my
biorhythms are truly confused. Watch the digital clock flip the hours away. Keep telling
myself I should have gotten to bed earlier and this wouldn't be happening. Hate
my husband who is having the sleep of his life. Try counting backwards by 7's from 100, over and over. Someone said that's supposed to put you to sleep. I'm telling you, it doesn't work. Have to go to the bathroom at
4:00. Mark told me to push white button on front of box that's laying on my chest if I have an "event"
like going to the bathroom. But did he
say to push it again when I get back into bed? Can't remember..and I'm not
going to watch the CD again even though they did mention it, sort of. Decide
not to push it. Worry about that until the clock says 4:30 and I pass out.
Awaken at 6:00.
This has not been a good
night. Not for someone who usually falls asleep
within seconds of turning off the light and is unconscious for the next 7
hours. I know I didn't have my usual apneic sleep because I didn't wake with a tongue
as dry as the Sahara sticking to the roof of my mouth. But the strange thing is
that I feel more rested when I wake up after this brief nap than I usually do
after my 7 hours of sleep. Maybe I should only take naps and forget getting a
good night's sleep.
